"Life is a Banquet..."

"And most poor suckers are starving to death."  Said very well by Auntie Mame in 1964, and to my silly 2010 brain, the sentiment is the same.  So I continue to smoke, because I'm not sick, not even remotely.  And not too wrinkly, just yet.  And not even feeling imminently in danger of illness, although the wrinkliness is a distinct possibility.  So bottom line is, I like being me.  I like too much.  I love too much of a lot of stuff.  I like too much work, and stress, and general uptightness.  I love too much wine, and food and smoking, etc....  I love my life, and me and such, and the thought of trying to not be me, i.e. quit smoking, makes me very leery, and weary, and more than a little bit too much terrified of giving up the banquet.  If I give it up, who's left?  Who is out there to keep up the bandwagon and big band, and Mad Mennishness of 2010?  Who?  You?  Not likely, no offense, but I'm as close to good, clean fun as I think the world continues to have, in my opinion and my opinion, as far as I'm honestly concerned, is really is all that counts.  I think you really don't disagree, as long I keep my butts in their proper place.

Nevertheless, (how many sentences in this blog have I begun with "nevertheless"?) last Friday I felt pretty bad about being a failure at being a quitter, and decided to try 'hypnotherapy'.  Not sure why I put that in singular italics, but I did.  So I did some research and decided that the "Positive Changes" cattle call approach to 'hypnotherapy' (I did it again!) was not my cup of tea, so I did some more research.  I found another therapist (I left the 'hypno' out so I could avoid the singular italics) who I called and who gave me a mini-quiz about what might be my smoking triggers.  Apparently, everything that I think I like, and that makes me me, is a trigger.  In any event, this makes it necessary for us to have a "short conversation" (in full italics) tomorrow before we schedule a hypnotherapy session.  Tomorrow I have a short conversation with a therapist.  Blurg.  I'll report back, unless they put me in the loony bin.  In the event you haven't yet seen "On A Clear Day" (with Barbra Streisand, and don't say ugh) pick it up.  Makes me laugh right now just thinking about it, and just check out those costumes.  It's truly a fabulous film, and it involves a girl being hypnotized to quit smoking, in 1970.  This ain't new folks, no matter how new age it may seem.